Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
