ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize