I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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