You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
