we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
