Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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