WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
