if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize