I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
