My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
