No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
