I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
