At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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