im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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