theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize