if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
