If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
