We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
