So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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