Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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