Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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