Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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