It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
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i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
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So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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