are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
