using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
