I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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