My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize