I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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