This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
