Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
