I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
