whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
