If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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