I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
