so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
