Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
