fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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