It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
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I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
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If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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