You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
try to milk me bitch
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
