My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
