At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize