Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
