why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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