and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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