I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
