Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
