I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize