he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
