I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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