party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
