He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
