So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
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He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
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That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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