Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i barfeds in our rink
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
ok first of all what the fuck
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize