I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
