making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
