Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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