We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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