you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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