I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
