Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
