dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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