Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
